Your Child's Uniqueness . . . Parenting a Lion
The lion’s determined and impatient nature can be frustrating for parents. Your child may aggravate you with his/her defiant and disobedient tendencies. Consider the following recommendations:
Discipline consistently and non-emotionally for defiance. Outline with your child the consequences for such behavior and carry them out without arguing or discussion. Make consequences relate to the offense. For example, if your child often threatens or intimidates his siblings, you may implement a consequence where he has to help his siblings with their chores when he is caught threatening.
Exert your authority as a parent without engaging in arguments or bargaining. Spend minimal time explaining your point of view. Discuss consequences for misbehavior and expectations during neutral times prior to misbehavior.
Give choices rather than ultimatums. If your child stubbornly refuses to clean his room tell him, “Johnny, you can join us for a family game after you clean your room or you can choose to not clean your room and sit out of the family game. It’s your choice.” This eliminates arguments and gives your child a sense of control and responsibility.
Reward and encourage patience, servanthood, and self-control. For example, praise and hug your child if she shows an uncharacteristic effort to wait her turn or help a sibling.
Foster leadership activities. Encourage your child to run for class president, form their own club, bring friends to church, etc. Lions have a great gift of leadership within them, and should learn early on how to best utilize this aptitude!
Stimulate your child’s enjoyment of challenges and problem-solving. Provide opportunities for her to engage in difficult activities, even if success is not guaranteed. Praise effort and gracious winning/losing.
Your Child's Uniqueness - Part 1
So, as parents and educators, what do we do about children we just don't understand? First, I suggest to seek to increase in understanding your child's uniqueness. Proverbs 2 says that "the Lord gives wisdom and from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding" (v.6) and that this "wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul." (v. 10). Parents can find peace and even pleasure in learning about their child's gifts, strengths, and weaknesses!
To start your investigation into your child's uniqueness, I suggest looking at their personality. Dr. Gary Smalley and Dr. John Trent have developed a personality inventory that does a great job in describing the four basic personality types. I have slightly modified this inventory to better describe what might be seen in children. I will address each personality style in the next few weeks. If today's doesn't accurately describe your child, stay tuned!
Do the following characteristics describe your child?
Confident
Firm
Enjoys challenges
Problem-solver
Bold
Persistent
Strong willed
Takes charge
Determined
Competitive
Leader
Controlling (bossy)
Adventurous
Independent
If so, your child is a LION. Your child, like a lion, is a bold leader. The lion child shows good decision making skills and enjoys challenges and difficult assignments. Lions focus on the goal, and can often step on other people to reach it.
At Home:
Your little lion may amaze you with his/her independence and ability to take on challenges. On the other hand, your child may have difficulty submitting to your authority. This child may become very upset when they don’t get their way and, like a true lion, roar and rampage. While the lion may be an appropriate and effective leader for his/her siblings s/he may also act “bossy” and demanding.